Today I also gave my agreement to marry a man who says he wants nothing more than to care for me and to allow him to cherish me. My bitter regret now must always be born in an endless silence that has broken the hearts of all those I ever loved. I kept silent because I was afraid to curb the one whom I loved more than any other. I can go through the days, and the motions of daily life, but for what purpose? What good can I bring to those I love, and who would love me in return, if they should know my secret? I did not act with correctness when the ability was within my power to do so. I live, but yet I do not deserve the gift. What shall be the price of Guilt? Just five letters in a word which buries me with its weight. Then I may know his feelings on the matter. More than anything I would wish to have his understanding of my regret, but I know it is out of the realm of possibilities until such a time as I meet my maker.
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